Author: Will Renzema

Women’s minds work very differently than men’s.  That is both good and bad.  The strength of women’s minds is that the communication neurons which connect the right and left brains are quite vast in number.  If that communication were cars, information would travel back and forth as if on an eight-lane freeway in, North Dakota.  So women know almost immediately how they both think and feel about any situation.

This enables women to put those evaluations into words much more quickly than men.  This is why women talk more than men.  This is also why women make much better multi-taskers than men.  These are all very good strengths that women have.

However, any strength, when overused, becomes a weakness.  For example, because women know THEIR full evaluation of the situation, there is a tendency to believe that is the full truth when it is really only her truth.  Also, because women put things together so quickly, they expect the men around them to be able to do the same, but men have different strengths.  Reread the post on men’s minds at ChristianMarriageBuilder.org.

When a woman is talking to a man, it works best if she states how she sees things, which will be easy for her, and then gives the man the time to process the meaning of what she just said.  It may take some time.  And don’t expect him to state right away his thoughts and feelings.  For this author, it takes just about overnight to put together fully all thoughts and feelings about any important issue.  Give him his time without continuing to address the issue either directly or with hints.

Men’s minds have both good and not-so-good features.  Strengths are that men can camp in their dominant side and pretty much ignore the other side.  So a left-brained man can spend all his time developing the thoughts and logic associated with whatever he is working on.  This is why most of the world’s best known scientists, mathematicians, theologians, and researchers are male.  While there are plenty of left-brained women who make any of these endeavors their excellent life’s work, the best producers are usually male.

The same is true of right-brained men.  Because they can just live in their creative and emotional side, most of the world’s best known chefs, artists, musicians, and comedians are male.  Of course, there are plenty of women who do excellently in all those occupations, but the shining stars are usually men.

Let us remember that every strength has a weak side and any strength overused becomes a weakness.  We all tend to concentrate on our strengths and ignore our weak features.  When a man camps in his logical side, it is difficult for him to hear the emotional side of a thought, and even more difficult to understand it.  When a right-brained man spends all his time being creative, he has problems applying logic to his plans and thoughts.

Everyone uses both sides of their brain at different times, but men tend to focus on either the logic or the emotion of a situation and have problems putting the two together.  However, both the logical and emotional sides of a position, when considered together, constitute the full truth of where one really is on an issue.  Because of the low number of neuro-connectors between the halves of the brain in men, combining the two can take several hours to a day and sometimes more.

So men, don’t try to argue with a woman.  She will always win.  Her mind puts thoughts and feelings together at lightning speed.  Yours does not.  Instead, thoroughly hear her position on an issue and respond with something like, “I get where you are on this.  I’m not quite sure where I am on it.  I need some time to think it through”.  Then stop talking and give yourself that time.  For this writer, it takes just about overnight.  And women, when he says that, you stop trying to convince him.  He’s not going to get it then.  Give him the time to think it through.  Just stop talking about it.

Female and male minds work very differently.  Hormones released before birth set each mind up to work in a way consistent with one’s gender.

In addition, the left brain is our logical side and the right brain is our emotional side.  Just as we can be left-handed or right-handed, we are also either left brained or right brained, and males or females can be either.  That is why a member of either gender can be an excellent scientist or an excellent artist.

However, the communication between the two sides of the brain is very different depending on gender.  Men can easily block that communication because there are few neuro-connectors between the sides.  This enables men to block the emotional side when duty demands it and visa versa.  It also means that men have one track minds.  Women, on the other hand, have vast numbers of connectors between the two sides which let them know almost immediately how they think AND feel about any situation.  This helps them put things into words much quicker than men, and it allows women to multi-task quite easily.

In marriage, these differences have a powerful  influence on how we get along.  It is wise for either gender to understand and accept these differences as they affect day to day relationships.