God is more interested in you and me growing than He is in us having a good marriage.
Matthew 10:34-39 indicates He will allow conflict within our family, including with our spouse, to get us to put Him before everything else. Luke 14:20 indicates it is not acceptable to put the desires or needs of our spouse before what God is calling us to do. We must remember that God only deals with individuals as it says in Psalms 33:14-15. I must be responsive to what I know God is asking of me before I am responsive to my spouse’s asks.
Leave the effects of how the above choices affect your spouse to God. Remember, He has total control over what comes their way just as He does with you. Their response to your choices also comes your way because He has allowed it for a good purpose.
We must remember that is this spiritual warfare Satan’s purpose is to destroy us, but God’s purpose is to give us a great and happy life, John 10:10. How it comes down is totally dependent on how we respond internally to the things He allows to come our way.