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On Being Judged

When someone has judged you, decided for themselves who and what you are, they have placed you in a box of definition which makes you easier for them to deal with.  No matter what you do or don’t do and no matter what you say or don’t say, everything will be taken by that person as proof that you are who they have judged you to be, even if that person is your spouse.  There is nothing you can do (and it isn’t your job) to try to change their opinion of you.

Our job is to pay close attention to what God want’s from us and be careful to meet those expectations.  Once we have at least partially succeeded with that process, He will take over reshaping another person’s view of you.  As long as we continue to try to change our reputation with someone, He allows us to continue to try until we give that responsibility over to Him.  He is so much better at that then we are.

A question: If I decided a person has judged me, have I not judged them?

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On Being Angry #1

Anger is a secondary emotion, an escape emotion, an anesthetic emotion.  It is the emotion we escape to when the “root” emotion is too difficult or painful to feel at that time so we anesthetize it by burying it in our anger.  The problem is that when we are angry “Sin lies at the door and its desire is for you.” (Genesis 4:7b) Then, as Cain was told, we need to “rule over it.” We will not be able to do that if that anger has too much power.

The thing that lends power to any emotion, but especially anger, is when we do not acknowledge it. Anger will grow until it cannot be ignored and it explodes.  We facilitate ignoring it by giving it pet names which allows us to let it grow.  Examine every situation you do not like to be in and see if there is not some anger there.

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Truth

There are two forms of truth for every situation we face in life. The logical truth and the spiritual truth. These could also be termed God’s truth and Satan’s truth. This was true during Jesus life on earth. Satan truth was that he was killing the err to the kingdom so the kingdom would be his. God’s truth was that he was purchasing back any man from Satan’s influence any person who would accept it. I Corinthians 10:13 supports this where it says, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man.” That is Satan’s truth. But what follows is God’s truth. “But God is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able…”

We have the choice to either think logically or think spiritually in every situation. Notice that whatever comes our way He allows. If He allows it, He must have a purpose for it. This is true even when the source of the unpleasant situation is sometimes our spouse did or didn’t do.

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God Deals With Me

God only deals with individuals. When a family, or a community, or a city, or state, or nation is blessed, it is because of the individuals within that group who have given control of their lives over to God. This is evident in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 18:33, where God would have spared those cities if 10 righteous men could be found. So the responsibility to respond toGod’s call on our life rests completely with the individual. Many people are often aware of a tragic or fantastic situation that has happened to themselves or to someone else, and God has a different purpose for each person.

This is true no matter how close we are to another person, such as our spouse, who may be responding to a situation in a way that seems unacceptable to us. We do not have the right to hold anyone else accountable for their response, especially our spouse. That is God’s right and responsibility only.

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God’s Persistence

Philippians 1:6 says 6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; The scripture is saying… “Listen up. This is important. Jesus takes full responsibility for your spiritual growth once you make Him lord of your life. This growth will happen, regardless of whatever means He has to use to get it done, and this will go on for the rest of your life here on this earth.”

It is more important to Jesus that you grow spiritually than it is to Him for you to have a good marriage. He will use issues in your marriage to get yourattention about where He wants you to grow spiritually. Sometimes if we cling to the value that marriage is for life, it becomes more difficult to ignore His efforts to get us to make the changes He wants from us. Since He takes the responsibility for our growth, if we continue to side-step what he wants, He keeps bringing it back, only each time it is with more emotional and/or spiritual pain.

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What About Family

Matthew 10:34 says 34 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to ‘set[j] aman against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; 36 and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ 37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

His point is that our individual relationship with Jesus must be more influential and more important in our life than any other relationship, including those with family, including spouse. This passage does not mention wife or spouse, but it does in Mark 10 where it says… 29 So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother [c]or wife or children or [d]lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, 30 who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life.

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The Spiritual Importance of Emotions

Emotions, especially negative ones, are communications from God.

God made us in His image and He has emotions and many of them are mentioned in Scripture… His anger, His love, His jealousy, and others. We were given these emotions before the fall of man happened in the Garden of Eden, however negative emotions happened after the fall of man. We tend to distrust emotions and ignore them when they come and dismiss them as non-spiritual issues. I believe they are an important part of God’s communications with us. They do not tell us the truth of what happened, but we must trust them as indicators of what God is trying to accomplish in us. God has allowed everything in detail that comes our way, even everything we only become aware of and doesn’t directly affect us. He allows emotions for His purposes to accomplish something in us. He knew what the emotions would be in us surrounding a situation before he allowed it. This includes all emotions which arise out of anything our spouse does or does not do and does or does not say.

Remember that anger, as an emotion, is an escape from the root emotion He wants to use to direct His planned improvements in us. We must get the anger processed and out of the way before we can feel the emotion He has planned to use to direct our attention to what He wants us to accomplish in us.