Emotions, especially negative ones, are communications from God.
God made us in His image and He has emotions and many of them are mentioned in Scripture… His anger, His love, His jealousy, and others. We were given these emotions before the fall of man happened in the Garden of Eden, however negative emotions happened after the fall of man. We tend to distrust emotions and ignore them when they come and dismiss them as non-spiritual issues. I believe they are an important part of God’s communications with us. They do not tell us the truth of what happened, but we must trust them as indicators of what God is trying to accomplish in us. God has allowed everything in detail that comes our way, even everything we only become aware of and doesn’t directly affect us. He allows emotions for His purposes to accomplish something in us. He knew what the emotions would be in us surrounding a situation before he allowed it. This includes all emotions which arise out of anything our spouse does or does not do and does or does not say.
Remember that anger, as an emotion, is an escape from the root emotion He wants to use to direct His planned improvements in us. We must get the anger processed and out of the way before we can feel the emotion He has planned to use to direct our attention to what He wants us to accomplish in us.